When we think of the term narcissism, it is often associated with grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. However, not all narcissism manifests in the same way. While many are familiar with the classic, overt narcissist, a more subtle form exists known as communal narcissism. This type of narcissism is particularly intriguing because it disguises itself under the veil of altruism and community-oriented behaviour.
What is Communal Narcissism?
Communal narcissism is a form of narcissism where individuals believe they are exceptionally selfless, empathetic, and helpful. They see themselves as the paragons of morality and benevolence, often seeking admiration and validation through their perceived good deeds and community involvement. Unlike the typical narcissist who seeks attention for their accomplishments or appearance, communal narcissists crave recognition for their kindness and generosity.
Key Characteristics
Self-Perception of Altruism: Communal narcissists genuinely see themselves as the ultimate do-gooders. They believe they are more compassionate and giving than others and often vocalize their intentions to help and support their community.
Need for Recognition: Despite their outward focus on others, communal narcissists have an underlying need for validation. They want their altruistic actions to be noticed, praised, and admired. They may become upset or feel unappreciated if their efforts go unnoticed.
Manipulative Generosity: The help they offer is often a means to an end. Their generosity can come with strings attached, expecting loyalty, gratitude, or reciprocation. They may use their good deeds to manipulate others or elevate their social status.
Grandiose Altruism: Communal narcissists often make grandiose claims about their ability to change the world or transform lives, and may lie about, or cheat their way into these claims. They might take on leadership roles in charitable organizations or community groups to showcase their benevolence.
Lack of Genuine Empathy: Despite their outward displays of compassion, communal narcissists may lack true empathy. Their actions are driven by a desire for admiration rather than genuine concern for others' well-being.
The Impact on Relationships
Communal narcissism can be particularly challenging in personal relationships. Friends and family might initially appreciate their seemingly selfless behaviour but may eventually feel manipulated, gaslit, overwhelmed or used. The communal narcissist's need for recognition can lead to conflicts and resentment, especially if their efforts are not continually acknowledged.
In professional settings, communal narcissists may excel in roles that require collaboration and leadership. However, their underlying need for admiration can create a toxic work environment, particularly if they undermine or manipulate colleagues to maintain their self-image.
Recognizing and Addressing Communal Narcissism
Recognizing communal narcissism requires a nuanced understanding of the individual's motivations and behaviours. If you suspect someone might be a communal narcissist, consider the following steps:
Set Boundaries: Clearly define your boundaries and stick to them. Don't feel obligated to continually validate or praise their actions.
Encourage Genuine Empathy: Help them understand the importance of empathy and altruism without the need for recognition. Encourage them to reflect on their motivations and the impact of their actions on others.
Seek Professional Help: If communal narcissism is significantly impacting relationships or causing distress, it may be beneficial to seek the help of a mental health professional. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore underlying issues and develop healthier patterns of behaviour.
Communal narcissism is a complex and often misunderstood form of narcissism. While it presents itself as selflessness and altruism, it ultimately serves the individual's need for admiration and validation. If you believe you are being affected by the behaviour of another individual and would like support exploring this, get in touch for a free consultation call today.